Written January 28, 2021
Stormy Fool
Entropy has been a favorite word of mine since college. I define it as order within disorder, a measure of uncertainty. Almost a surrender in the chaos, the calm within the eye of a storm, a peaceful pause amongst a turbulent vortex. It’s laughable how I take terms used in thermodynamics and make them mine!
In California the past few days storms have brought snow to the mountains and rain to the beach, record-level like.
A raw blister on my heel from my ice climbing boots has me taking time away from my running shoes this week and as I am headed to the mountains this weekend, I opted for my sunrise swim a day early. Not gonna lie, I kinda needed a recenter. Nothing like a cold swim to pull you right into alignment and clarity. I had expectations.
This morning the waves were rowdy. I stood for a long while in my bikini as the wind and rain pelted my exposed skin. There were others watching the sunrise, they were bundled in layers with hats, hoods and gloves. I looked odd, I’m used to that.
Patterns and predictability were hidden and all I could do was enter the waves. I got pulled, thrown, submerged and tossed. I went again. And again. Today I didn’t “swim” at sunrise, I wrestled waves and water. It was defeating as my spiritual enlightenment which is typical during my sunrise swims was not allowed to surface as much as making sure I came up for air each time. It was different and new. Kinda like my life path right now, the moment I set an expectation the world quick-like reminds me I am a fool.
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