Two weeks after I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes I returned to track practice. I was 17 years old and adored running. I’ll never forget walking up to the track, my team had made a big banner for me and the high school athletes and coaches had signed the banner. I recall being scared to move my body around the track that day, not knowing how the movement would impact my glucose levels, not knowing how my glucose levels would impact my running. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was my first encounter with grief…letting go of what was and opening myself up to what is. It shook the foundation of who I thought I was, entirely. That was an emotional day, the day I began my journey as a diabetic athlete. It would be 10 years until I’d meet other people like me who embarked on dreams that concerned and confused healthcare teams and went beyond the norm with physical goals and adventurous endeavors. For years I dove deep into the analytical side of seeking certainty with diabetes… logging numbers, trends, totals, measuring food and desperately seeking patterns to micro adjust anything. Control became a swear word of sorts, triggering all the inadequacies of my soul. In many ways, it was biohacking mentality before it became trendy. Eventually, I arrived at a calm place living with diabetes. I let go of the injustice I felt when people confused type 1 and type 2. I let go of the inaccurate references in movies and media. I let go of numbers determining my ok-ness. I began meeting people exactly where they were in their knowledge and curiosity around diabetes, even the ignorant and incompetent ones. I began meeting myself exactly where I was in the moment around diabetes, knowing I was always doing the best I could. In this process, I believe I have found freedom and ease living with diabetes. I just came off of 5 days of trail running solo in the Italian Dolomites, no agenda, no reservations… just me and my running pack. Almost zero percent of my time in this adventure had concern or consideration for diabetes. I appreciate so much about this photo. The sweat dripping from my forehead, the views in front of me, the trails behind me and the trails yet to be seen in the days ahead. About an hour after this photo was taken I burst out crying uncontrollably from joy. I made a commitment to myself to remember that feeling in the moments life is overwhelming. But mostly this photo reminds me I began that day over 32 years ago on the track… I have and had every excuse in the book not to have started, we all do, but that is not a list I choose to fill in… #betweendiabetes #healthcoaching #diabetesathlete #dolomites #diabetes #love #joy See less
— at Dolomites Italy.
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